How to Release Your Anger
With everything going on in the world right now, there is a lot of collective anger. We are facing a Pandemic and all the struggles that go with it. Financial worries, both physical and mental health concerns and emotional upheaval. We have all been witness to horrific acts of violence fuelled by racism, and have watched in horror as the systems we put in place to protect us have failed miserably. We watch leaders that do not lead, but instead pour fuel on the fire. Our world feels very broken right now and saying we are angry feels like an understatement.
The thing is, although our anger is completely justified, it is not healthy. Hanging on to anger does us physical and emotional harm. Not to mention it is difficult to think clearly through our anger. Very few good decisions are made from a place of anger. Left unchecked, anger grows and infects our whole being. You have to learn to release your anger.
Anger in the Body
First, let’s look at what happens in your body when you are angry. Like stress, anxiety and fear; anger triggers our fight or flight response. Our body becomes flooded with the stress hormones adrenalin and cortisol. This then triggers the brain to force all your blood away from your core and into your muscles and extremities, preparing you to fight or run away. Your heart rate, blood pressure and temperature rise. You breathing is fast and shallow, and your pain response is altered, enabling you to fight even when injured.
All these things are extremely helpful if you are in fact fighting or running. Unfortunately, or not so unfortunately depending on how you look at it, in todays society fighting and or running are not how we deal with our anger. If our boss or a coworker upset us, we don’t fight them or turn tail and run. Most of us swallow our anger and try to carry on through our day. Then we think about what happened and how angry we were and our brain activates the fight or flight response again. Our brain doesn’t realize we are just remembering a past event, therefore it treats it like a current threat.
The real issue we face is, by not running or fighting we don’t reset our systems. Our bodies continue to function in the fight or flight response. The prolonged effect of this can be a sluggish metabolism, leading to weight gain, along with a number of other digestive issues. Skin problems, headaches, depression and insomnia, high blood pressure, heart attacks and strokes, are also possible. As you can see, If you don’t release your anger it can be detrimental to your health. On top of all that, being angry for prolonged periods, doesn’t feel good.
Anger can be Useful
Although long-term anger can wreak havoc on your body, it still has a purpose. It is a natural emotion that is trying to get our attention. It is letting us know that something in our life is not right and needs to be resolved. This awareness and a desire to feel better can cause us to look at our life more closely, providing insights we may not have otherwise had.
Anger is also a strong motivator. Just look at all the protests that have been happening around the world, and at the results those protests are achieving. A collective anger has motivated the world to stand up against racism.
Anger can also be used to defuse a situation. When you are angry it is a very clear signal to whoever has angered you to stop what they are doing, before things get worse.
If expressed in a healthy and constructive way, anger can help us make changes in our lives and our world. It can relieve tension and help motivate us to better a situation.
How to Release Your Anger
Expressing Your Anger to Others
Anger needs to come out one way or another. If left unchecked, it festers in our bodies and that’s when we begin to have problems. Ideally, the best way to deal with anger is head on. Go directly to who has angered us and let them know how we feel and work towards resolution. This is not always an option, but when it is take advantage of it.
It’s good to keep in mind that going to a person when you are so angry you are seeing red might not be the best idea. Instead you may want to take a few moments to calm down. Go for a walk, go into the other room, give yourself a little time to calm down. Consider what you are really angry about. You may find that anger isn’t the primary emotion you are feeling. Often we use anger to disguise emotions we feel are less desirable, such as fear, sorrow or even shame. If we know the driving emotion behind our anger, it is easier to come to a resolution. Finally, when you approach the other person use I statements, “I feel that …” This way you are not blaming the other person, but simply expressing your feelings. This helps keep the situation from escalating.
Breathing
When we are in the middle of our anger, it can be difficult to think about anything but our anger. However, taking a moment to do some deep breathing can be incredibly beneficial. It is also something we can do no matter where we are. When we are in fight or flight our breathing is shallow and quick. By deepening and slowing down our breath we can let our brain know that we are safe. Taking a few deep breaths in and out, feeling the air fill our lungs and then feeling our lungs fully empty. Try to deepen the breath slightly with each inhale and repeat until you feel more calm.
Journal
Another way to help ease your anger, when you don’t have a lot of privacy, is to journal or write it out. You can write a letter to the person who angered you (you don’t have to send it), or just write out your feelings. This helps you organize your thoughts and feeling, giving you a clearer idea of how you feel and what to do with them. Writing it out is a way of expressing those feelings and getting them out. Whether we talk them out or write them out, we are releasing them.
Physical Movement
Anger is a very physical emotion, therefore one of the most effective ways to express it is through physical action. You need to get your heart rate up, so choose something with a lot of cardio. Running, dancing, working out frustrations with a punching bag, aerobics or anything else that gets your heart pumping. By getting your heart rate up, you start to release all of the stress hormones and replace them with feel-good endorphins. This will in turn reset your system.
Tapping Out Your Anger
Here’s a video of me doing a Tapping routine to release anger.
However you choose to release your anger, the important thing is to actually release it. Although it may be useful in the moment, hanging on to anger will only cause problems for you later. So find a way to get it out!
