How to Transform A Wicked Inner Critic Into Your Champion

Most of us are familiar with the inner critic. That voice inside that tells us we aren’t good enough, that whispers about all of our past failures. Even the most confident of us has faced their critic at one point or another. So how can we turn our inner critic into our own personal champion?

The inner critic is always judging us and shining a light on our insecurities. It exaggerates our perceived weaknesses and focuses on our failures, ignoring our successes. The critic often sabotages us and keeps us from venturing out in the world, because it wants us to stay small. It wants us to stay safe within our comfort zone.

Our critic tells us we are not worthy, reminding us of all our previous failures to prove that we are in fact not good enough. It compares us to others and we always come up lacking. The critic speaks of our weaknesses with authority, so we dare not argue. It expects perfection, but we just can’t meet it’s standards no matter how hard we try. Unfortunately for many of us, we just stop trying.

The Birth of the Inner Critic

The critic is usually born from the experiences from our childhood. It can be a defining event that creates your inner critic, but it often develops over time. It gets stronger with every criticism we receive from authority figures in our lives. When that authority figure is someone close to us (like a parent or caretaker) the inner critic is much stronger. For many, those criticisms became internalized, so rather than believing that our behaviours are wrong, we learned that we were wrong.

Being small and not taking risks keeps us from drawing attention to ourselves. If no one is watching we can’t do anything embarrassing. If we don’t put ourself out there, we don’t have to deal with failure and rejection. Of course we never can never succeed that way either.

The thing is, our critic is not trying to hurt us, although it often feels that way. In fact, it is the exact opposite. Our inner critic is actually trying to protect us. It tries to protect us from failure, embarrassment and even rejection. It believes that if it can keep us from drawing too much attention, we will be deemed more acceptable. By staying under the radar we are more lovable. Unfortunately, while trying to keep us from failing and making us more acceptable, it is also keeping us from succeeding.

Getting to Know Your Critic

The inner critic is most active when you are in an uncomfortable situation. When you are trying something new, when you are around people you don’t know well, if you are being judged or criticized, even being around an authority figure will trigger your inner critic. If you are feeling depressed or out of sorts, your inner critic is likely to make appearance. It has a habit of kicking you when your down.

Identify Your Critic

• Name your critic.
• When was the first time you remember hearing your inner critic?
• Who does it sound like?
• What does it say?
• When does your critic show up?
• What does it repeat?
• Where is it in your body?
• If it was phrased more constructively, is there something you could learn from your inner critic?

Setting Boundaries For Your Inner Critic

Once you identify the inner critic, pay attention to it. When you catch yourself listening to your inner critic, STOP, REWIND and REFRAME.

As soon as a negative thought comes in, tell yourself “Stop!” Rewind and change the thought to something kinder. For example:

• What would you say to a friend?
• What would you say to your inner child?
• If you can’t say something kind about yourself try changing your thoughts to something else. Try using gratitude.
• Repeat positive affirmations

Talk to your inner critic like you would to a person who is criticizing you. Set Boundaries. “Ok Critic, that is enough! You sound like a judgemental bitch. Back off!”

Another strategy for dealing with the critic, is to send it off on a nice vacation. Thank it for trying to keep you safe and tell it to enjoy its vacation on that tropical island. Although this seems silly, it can be extremely effective.

Turn Your Inner Critic Into Your Inner Champion

Once you have set boundaries and have a strategy in place for dealing with your critic, it’s time to start working on a more positive inner dialogue.

When your constantly use negative self-talk, you reinforce the inner critic. When you feel insecure, the critic will come out in full force. However, if you practice a more positive inner dialogue, your inner champion starts to gain some traction. The more you use positive self-talk, the more natural it becomes. Eventually, your inner critic will start to take a step back and let your champion propel you forward.

A powerful way to to improve your inner dialog is to practice positive affirmations. Here’s a few to get your started:

• I bring light wherever I go
• I’m worthy of love
• I deserve good things in my life
• I’m perfect exactly as I am
• I am beautiful inside and out
• I’m capable of great things
• I trust myself completely
• I’m a positive force in the world
• I deserve abundance in all areas of life
• I’m a strong person

Originally published at https://metaphysicalmama.com on May 4, 2021.